It has been almost 4 months now since my husband and I separated. A lot is different now. We sold our house, which was my dream home, and I am now living in a Condo for the first time in my life. It is weird to start over. Really weird. I bought my first home 6 years ago with my husband and that was about 1200 square feet with a basement, my last home was 2700 square feet with a walkout basement and now I am literally squished into about 600 square feet condo! It's actually quite funny to me and I have actually never been so organized in my entire life as everything needs a spot in here or this out of control-ness will continue on until I decide to move again. For now it is nice to have a place to call home again instead of mooching off of my parents. I worry a lot because I am nervous about how I will be able to support myself, what does my future hold etc etc. Life is too short though and I was so unhappy and so despite all the terrible and stressful events around me, I actually am a happier, outgoing and optimistic person. I am really very glad I have gotten to this point that I can look up again. It was because of that Michael J. Fox's novel entitled "Always Looking Up." It was truly amazing to me that this man wasn't miserable, unhappy or angry at what has been taken away from him. The truth of the matter is that the Parkinson's took enough and truly being miserable all the time would only make his life worse. This is what I have learnt for myself and it is funny that my friends and family have commented that I am handling this all very well and they are impressed and that I am ridiculously strong. It's nice to hear. I never even realized that they felt that way. However, I myself am proud of the way I am handling my life right now and it has given me a better sense of self and of course self esteem. I have learnt so much even just by living alone as I went from my parents home to my home with Carlo. I am glad to have a fresh start and despite all the disappointments and heartache I will be ok. I look forward to meeting my soul mate who is still yet to come and building a truly unbreakable relationship with him.
Just finishing up my audiobook I bought from Hay House Now. Mind Over Medicine by Lissa Rankin MD. One of the most important thing someone who suffers from RSD/CRPS symptoms need to believe RSD is curable. Simply believing that it is INCURABLE..... Will make it so!!!! Please reconsider your thoughts and READ this book or listen to it! I promise you it will change your life!!! Xoxo
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