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Update on Ketamine

I saw my heart specialist last week and it appears that I will be able to do the ketamine infusion sooner rather than later.....Yay!!! So I am seeing my amazing pain management doctor, Dr Shulman, on Monday to apply to OHIP to see if they can pay for the one available in Florida as they have payed for it before. I am just hoping for the best at this point, because this is so going to cost me an arm and a leg. I am in a new positive mindset and I am not allowing "incurable" to run my life anymore.
I just finished reading a book called, "You Can Heal Your Life," by Louise Hay. It has inspired me to use my brain and positivity to overcome the limitations of this illness. Now I do hope that I can do it. I'm not sure if I buy into the you created this for yourself stuff because really, blaming myself for creating a dysfunctional body is not going to make me feel better whatsoever and if I can't control this with my mind, I don't really want another frigging reason to be mad at myself....!!!! Seriously though, think about that one....
It's your fault that you got it......Now it's your fault you can't get rid of it.....How is that going to be healthy or help me with that.......?????
And, of course, it doesn't help me with the friends or family members that already say that positive thinking will make it go away. Well, honestly if it was that simple I would have been healed a million times over already.
This is a really tough illness to live with. Occassionally I fall apart. Like the other day talking to my sister.
I am better the last couple of days though thank god. Just hard to know what to look forward to. Hard to feel like there is even much there to be excited about....
Hmmmmm...... Working on positive mindset. Making reasons to be happy and things to look forward to. I am really thinking of volunteering. I do think that will help me to feel better. At least I won't feel so useless and/or bored.
Anyways, I am certainly happy that I may be getting Ketamine done in about 2 months time. So maybe this time in August I will be on my way to feeling a million times better!!! I am picturing this, I am hoping for this, I am praying for this.........

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