Living with RSD/CRPS

I have won against another hurdle. I had a lot of great insight last week and was able to pull together and face the challenge at hand. How did I do it? Great question. I started taking the vitamins I had been forgetting to take, using heat, meditating, self-hypnosis, breathing, improving my diet and getting more sleep. Today is my 2 month anniversary and I couldn't be happier. I am also relieved that we were able to get over this. It brings me more hope for the future. Now don't get me wrong. I am still in a ton of pain and have been going to physio and massage almost everyday. Progress has been made and I no longer feel as panicky or overwhelmed as I have been. I can handle this. I am strong. Some days it is easier to be strong then others..... and that is ok. The bad days are when I can lean if I need to and the good days are just better then the bad ones. I have a lidocaine infusion on Thursday am, thank god. I had one Sept. 1st and was due again Sept. 21st, but I just can...

Today was a bad day. In fact, this whole week has been bad. They are bound to come along and as a good friend once quoted to me, "This too shall pass. It is like a wave, we face it and it washes over us." I have a wonderful new boyfriend with whom I am so in love with. Since our minor collision, that did major damage to my body, I have felt overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted and panicked. I have had such a wonderful summer and whirlwind romance that I am agitated that I am hurt again, I am annoyed that my wonderful streak is over again, I am angry that I am yet again in this situation and I am feeling vulnerable, desperate, needy and clingy. I want this to be a figment of imagination, and yet again it is not. This is reality. My reality for the present moment. This illness provides so many opportunities for ups and downs and it leaves me feeling quite helpless and out of control and I hate that. I have been pushing the man I love away and probably because I am in such a frazzle...

Yesterday I had the unfortunate luck of having someone back into me in a parking lot. My vehicle is an 08 so that sucks obviously, but the worst part is my body of course. If you are reading this, you most likely either have RSD yourself or a loved one. That means you know what I am talking about..... I already have full body RSD, but I have been doing extremely well recently. This is definitely a set back. I am really concerned though that my boyfriend, who I am completely in love with now, still does not understand the seriousness of my pain or what I live with. He says he's here forever, but I also know that if I believe him on that and he can't handle this I will be devastated once again. I am already so attached to Jay and his family that I want to believe him, however, I think until I know for sure for sure that he truly understands my illness; I'm always going to worry about it. ***SIGH*** I feel like I'm going to cry. I hate dealing with this. I have been doing...