Emotional Stress & Exhaustion

Today was a bad day. In fact, this whole week has been bad. They are bound to come along and as a good friend once quoted to me, "This too shall pass. It is like a wave, we face it and it washes over us." I have a wonderful new boyfriend with whom I am so in love with. Since our minor collision, that did major damage to my body, I have felt overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted and panicked. I have had such a wonderful summer and whirlwind romance that I am agitated that I am hurt again, I am annoyed that my wonderful streak is over again, I am angry that I am yet again in this situation and I am feeling vulnerable, desperate, needy and clingy. I want this to be a figment of imagination, and yet again it is not. This is reality. My reality for the present moment. This illness provides so many opportunities for ups and downs and it leaves me feeling quite helpless and out of control and I hate that. I have been pushing the man I love away and probably because I am in such a frazzled state as well as this nagging fear I have that he won't be able to handle all this. I haven't felt as happy as I have felt in probably almost a decade and I am scared to lose it all. I am terrified and that is not a good emotional place to be coming from when trying to be rational and be heard etc etc. I am so attached to my boyfriend and I know for sure that if I wasn't sick, we would totally work out. I'm just not sure about the sick version of me. I am finally with a man who I feel so incredibly lucky to have found as I feel he is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. He also has beautiful daughters whom I already love and feel a sort of belonging in the family. I am content as I never imagined. Now I know what I must do. We had bad conversations tonight and I believe that the only way to keep this on track is for me to try to calm myself down and try to keep myself rational instead of operating from a place of hurt. I am going to try reactive listening and ask him to rephrase everything I tell him to see if he does understand what I am saying because I feel as if he is listening, but I am just not sure he understands and until I feel as if he heard me, I will only continue to feel more and more stressed out about this.
I also believe that as much as I have tried to educate him about my illness; I decided to have fun and be carefree and pretend I was normal again therefore giving him the impression that I can do much more then I can safely do in reality. I also did not prepare him well enough for what happens when an "accident" occurs and how my life changes in a series of ups and downs and what I will require from him should that occur.